I have never been one to think of myself as an angry person. I don't yell, scream, throw things, punch my fist through a wall, or curse. However, I probably had many meltdowns during my early hormonal teenage years that my mother could attest involved some of the above activities. I do remember being quite argumentative and practicing my excellent public speaking and debate skills on my friends and family members, and always wanting to be right. Ok, who doesn't love being right now and again? After having moved into a large city, I have come across many people doing everyday activities that get red-in-the-face, foot stomping, dropping the F-bomb mad! I would say that most of these individuals are probably driving the city streets or attempting to get around a stalled car in a traffic jam. I do, however, readily admit, that at times I can be easily irritated! There are certain things in life, that regardless of their mundane and irrational nature, grate on my nerves like chalk on a blackboard. For instance, why must one talk on their cellphone when walking very slowly through a crowded store, making it impossible for anyone to pass them? Irritating? Of course. Important in the grand scheme of the universe? Surely not. Here's another one. If you are a cashier at a drugstore, I generally find it quite irritating if you wipe your nose with your hand prior to reaching into the register to dispense my change. Nerve grating for someone who washes their hands like it's going out of style and a little bit gross? Sure. Worth me flying into a rage and demanding to speak to the manager? Probably not. Just when I thought that everyone in the world must have it on their personal agenda to annoy me, I had one of those moments at work this week. As Oprah would call it, I experienced a God-wink, or an "aha" experience that I just had to share.
I would say that this particular shift was a rather typical evening, refer to the last post for what that entails! I noticed on our electronic census that a patient had come into the Emergency Department who I was familiar with. This particular patient is well known to our hospital after having spent much of her life enduring surgical procedures and extended stay. I hadn't seen her in quite some time, and was anxious to see how she was doing. I brought her what I knew were two of her favorite items to help her through a hospital stay: Play-doh and a princess movie, turned up extra loud! One of the trade-offs for cutting edge treatment for a life-threatening illness for this patient is almost complete blindness. While she was delighted with the items I had brought her and an opportunity for us to play one of our favorite games in which she shapes something out of the Play-doh and I have to guess what it is (with my eyes closed of course), I noticed that the caregiver that was with her was, well, rip-roaring mad! I have to say with quite a bit of humility, that angry caregivers in the hospital are kind of my expertise. This is quite hilarious given that if someone close to me said anything mean or hurtful, I would probably cry like a school-girl. But, for whatever reason, when I'm in my work setting, I tend to be able to de-escalate situations and serve as the "mediator" if you will between parents and our medical staff. It's my job to flesh out the reasons behind the red-face and cursing, and try to help the angry caregivers and frustrated staff come to some kind of mutual understanding. And as tends to be the unspoken motto in the ER, when all else fails with a patient or the parent, call the Child Life Specialist!
Parents and caregivers who know the intricate workings of the hospital probably better than most staff do, are much more susceptible to increased frustration and anger when they are required to sit in an Emergency Department, and be questioned by an intern, two residents, and an attending physician about their child's lengthy medical history. On that particular night, this caregiver had valid reasons to be frustrated. The doctor who was overseeing the patient's care had valid reasons to be frustrated as well. After several conversations both inside the room and outside the room with myself, the caregiver, and two physicians, it didn't seem that we were meeting common ground. In fact, we weren't meeting common anything! With a heaping of dismay and frustration myself, I returned to the room once more with the caregiver to attempt to "make a deal" as a last resort. All of a sudden, in the midst of a particularly angry rant, I hear a familiar but out-of-place sound. A tiny little warrior in a printed hospital gown, waiting ever so patiently for my attention to her Play-Doh sculpture, had leaned forward so that she could hear the story that accompanied the princess movie I had provided for her, and had begun to giggle. A merciless, shoulder-shaking giggle on her tiny frame that sliced through the thick tension in the room. Her caregiver stopped in mid-sentence, our eyes met, and I'll be darned if a huge grin didn't cross their face! True story! In all of our attempts to find common ground, the caregiver, the physicians, and myself, had all ignored the common ground with her pink Play-doh sitting right there in that hospital bed. As I hugged her goodbye when I left that night, I squeezed her a little tighter, silently thanking her for giving us all the breather that we needed. Cheesy story? You bet, and I wouldn't change a single second of it!
So, to my blog followers, I hope that you all experience God-winks or "Aha" moments that make you question the importance of your anger or irritation with life. I think that there are times in life when anger is 100 percent justified and called for. However, I wish for you more times than not to be slow to anger and rich in kindness. I suppose I would rather be more defined by acts of kindness than by acts of anger. For me, I'll try not to let life's little irritations bother me so much, as I know I have greater things in life to focus on. Wishing you all chances to delight in gorgeous Spring weather this week, kind words to speak to others, kindness towards yourself, and blessings to all you love in this world!
Monday, March 19, 2012
Monday, March 12, 2012
Let the Children Come to Me
Since March is National Child Life Month, I thought I would take this opportunity to brag a little bit about my job and give you a day in the life of working in a large inner-city Emergency Department. I never thought that the ED environment would be right for me until I had the opportunity to spend some time working in a smaller unit during a graduate level internship. After the first few days, I was hooked! I love the fast-paced environment, the chance to see a variety of different patients, and the challenge. I think working in this environment actually helps me to disconnect from my job when I need to go home at the end of the day and remember that most children are healthy and uninjured. While I certainly get attached to certain patients, because I only see them for several hours, rather than spending several weeks with them, I have the ability to leave work at work, although that is sometimes easier said than done! I also think that is helpful in my current line of work that I don't have children. Finally, one perk of being single! It allows me to a bit more objective and fully support families. When I do become a parent, I have a feeling that I will either be the most informed or most neurotic mother after having witnessed so many injuries and illnesses. So, what exactly does a Child Life Specialist do?
In simple terms, my number one and most important job is to help support patients and families while they navigate the unfamiliar and often frightening experience of coming into the Emergency Department. I provide developmentally appropriate play materials and opportunities to help patients pass the time during an extended wait, distraction for a variety of exams and medical procedures, teaching and education for any number of injuries, illnesses, treatments, and procedures, support for siblings, parents, and extended family members, referrals to hospital and community support services, as well as information related to being admitted to the hospital and the medical and support services that are available. I am a part of a trauma response team, and help a patient to understand what is happening when they are brought into our trauma bay due to the fact that they have a serious and sometimes life-threatening injury. Because I work at night at the hospital, I am also considered an on-call resource for any patient or family in the hospital who may have an urgent coping or procedural support need. Finally, I provide end-of-life support to families both in the Emergency Department and throughout the hospital that includes the creation of legacy items, sibling teaching and support, and providing family members with a variety of resources for grief and coping. Whew! I can without a doubt say that this job at this particular institution is the most challenging, rewarding, heartbreaking, but ultimately worthwhile position I have ever had the privilege of obtaining. Perhaps that's what makes my current situation with chronic illness so difficult in terms of my abilities to work a physically and emotionally demanding job!
At the end of every shift, when I think to myself that I have "seen it all," I need only to walk back through the Emergency Room doors the next day. It is not uncommon for me in the course of a single shift to work with the family of a three day old infant in helping them to prepare the patient's sibling for an extended hospital stay, and then to spend time with a 26-year old oncology patient who continues to be treated for cancer at a children's hospital due to the fact that her prognosis is much better when she remains on a pediatric research protocol. However, I would say that the majority of my patients tend to be between the age of four and twelve years old. In any given night, I am responsible for a specific pod of patients, usually encompassing twelve to fifteen rooms, although our entire ED houses 80 pediatric beds. Within those fifteen rooms, I have seen extremely rare genetic diseases, life-threatening injuries, many cancer diagnoses, patients who have just arrived to the United States from halfway around the world to receive specialized treatment, horrific acts of violence against children, and run of the mill fevers, coughs, and colds. I have experienced families who welcome me into the hospital room with open arms and eager to assist their child in coping with this experience, as well as those who banish me from the room with shouting and cursing. I do not always feel appreciated, respected, or valued. However, at the end of the day, I always believe that I what I do has meaning and is as necessary to patients as IV medications, bloodwork, medical evaluations, and CT scans.
To give you an inkling of what a typical day is like, here's an example of one hour of patient care last week. I provided support and distraction to a three-year-old boy who had swallowed his mother's wedding ring at home and was transferred from an another hospital for further evaluation. His impish grin and delight in throwing toys across the room entertained the physician who spoke with his mother and assured her that the ring would likely "pass" in the next several days. My next stop was the room of a fifteen-year-old boy who would be spending his first night in the hospital in our Cardiac Intensive Care Unit due to a life-threatening abnormality of his heart rhythm. He taught me about hockey, while I taught him about a procedure called a cardiac cath and asked his nurse to print out his EKG rhythm strip while we compared it to a photo of what a typical heart rate should look like. Two rooms down, I modeled positions of comfort to a frustrated mother of an infant who was having difficulty tolerating the oxygen mask needed to improve his breathing and soothe his croupy cough. When that same infant need an IV placed, I used a pacifier and a solution of sugar water to keep him calm, then allowed his mother to swaddle and hold him for the remainder of the procedure. Finally, I helped a terrified ten-year-old girl understand how it was impossible for her to wake up in the middle of the surgery necessary to remove her appendix. Together, we used a preparation book of pictures to identify each step of the process. She was wheeled off to the operating room chatting about the great dream she would have and clutching a brand new stuffed pig.
I wish that every day could be a success. I wish that I never had to watch families endure terrible diagnoses, heartbreaking loss, and destructive grief. At the end of the day, I don't usually know the outcome of my patients, or where their journeys lead them when they are either discharged or admitted to the hospital. What I can be sure of, is that in some form or another, I will continue to do what I love and love what I do, even if that looks different than I had imagined even six months ago. To my blog followers, I hope that you are as blessed as I am, to have found your calling and true passion in what you do. I hope that you are appreciated, valued, and thanked frequently for the services you provide! If not, I hope you give yourself a pat on the back every so often. Speak kindly to those you work with, support them in their efforts, and blessings to all you love in this world!
In simple terms, my number one and most important job is to help support patients and families while they navigate the unfamiliar and often frightening experience of coming into the Emergency Department. I provide developmentally appropriate play materials and opportunities to help patients pass the time during an extended wait, distraction for a variety of exams and medical procedures, teaching and education for any number of injuries, illnesses, treatments, and procedures, support for siblings, parents, and extended family members, referrals to hospital and community support services, as well as information related to being admitted to the hospital and the medical and support services that are available. I am a part of a trauma response team, and help a patient to understand what is happening when they are brought into our trauma bay due to the fact that they have a serious and sometimes life-threatening injury. Because I work at night at the hospital, I am also considered an on-call resource for any patient or family in the hospital who may have an urgent coping or procedural support need. Finally, I provide end-of-life support to families both in the Emergency Department and throughout the hospital that includes the creation of legacy items, sibling teaching and support, and providing family members with a variety of resources for grief and coping. Whew! I can without a doubt say that this job at this particular institution is the most challenging, rewarding, heartbreaking, but ultimately worthwhile position I have ever had the privilege of obtaining. Perhaps that's what makes my current situation with chronic illness so difficult in terms of my abilities to work a physically and emotionally demanding job!
At the end of every shift, when I think to myself that I have "seen it all," I need only to walk back through the Emergency Room doors the next day. It is not uncommon for me in the course of a single shift to work with the family of a three day old infant in helping them to prepare the patient's sibling for an extended hospital stay, and then to spend time with a 26-year old oncology patient who continues to be treated for cancer at a children's hospital due to the fact that her prognosis is much better when she remains on a pediatric research protocol. However, I would say that the majority of my patients tend to be between the age of four and twelve years old. In any given night, I am responsible for a specific pod of patients, usually encompassing twelve to fifteen rooms, although our entire ED houses 80 pediatric beds. Within those fifteen rooms, I have seen extremely rare genetic diseases, life-threatening injuries, many cancer diagnoses, patients who have just arrived to the United States from halfway around the world to receive specialized treatment, horrific acts of violence against children, and run of the mill fevers, coughs, and colds. I have experienced families who welcome me into the hospital room with open arms and eager to assist their child in coping with this experience, as well as those who banish me from the room with shouting and cursing. I do not always feel appreciated, respected, or valued. However, at the end of the day, I always believe that I what I do has meaning and is as necessary to patients as IV medications, bloodwork, medical evaluations, and CT scans.
To give you an inkling of what a typical day is like, here's an example of one hour of patient care last week. I provided support and distraction to a three-year-old boy who had swallowed his mother's wedding ring at home and was transferred from an another hospital for further evaluation. His impish grin and delight in throwing toys across the room entertained the physician who spoke with his mother and assured her that the ring would likely "pass" in the next several days. My next stop was the room of a fifteen-year-old boy who would be spending his first night in the hospital in our Cardiac Intensive Care Unit due to a life-threatening abnormality of his heart rhythm. He taught me about hockey, while I taught him about a procedure called a cardiac cath and asked his nurse to print out his EKG rhythm strip while we compared it to a photo of what a typical heart rate should look like. Two rooms down, I modeled positions of comfort to a frustrated mother of an infant who was having difficulty tolerating the oxygen mask needed to improve his breathing and soothe his croupy cough. When that same infant need an IV placed, I used a pacifier and a solution of sugar water to keep him calm, then allowed his mother to swaddle and hold him for the remainder of the procedure. Finally, I helped a terrified ten-year-old girl understand how it was impossible for her to wake up in the middle of the surgery necessary to remove her appendix. Together, we used a preparation book of pictures to identify each step of the process. She was wheeled off to the operating room chatting about the great dream she would have and clutching a brand new stuffed pig.
I wish that every day could be a success. I wish that I never had to watch families endure terrible diagnoses, heartbreaking loss, and destructive grief. At the end of the day, I don't usually know the outcome of my patients, or where their journeys lead them when they are either discharged or admitted to the hospital. What I can be sure of, is that in some form or another, I will continue to do what I love and love what I do, even if that looks different than I had imagined even six months ago. To my blog followers, I hope that you are as blessed as I am, to have found your calling and true passion in what you do. I hope that you are appreciated, valued, and thanked frequently for the services you provide! If not, I hope you give yourself a pat on the back every so often. Speak kindly to those you work with, support them in their efforts, and blessings to all you love in this world!
Tuesday, March 6, 2012
It Is Well With My Soul
I can just feel Spring in the air! I am practically itching for warmer weather and longer days, and the return of capris and flip-flops. As a Southern girl at heart, I still can't quite get used to freezing cold weather in March! Sunny days can certainly be a tease in this part of the country, with strong winds and bitterly cold temperatures. I began to slowly transition back to work last week and continue to work only part-time this week. Despite the immense toll it takes on my body and the physical challenges to having to adjust to being on my feet again, I can certainly say that sweet little toddlers, even when they are sniffly, coughing, running fevers, and probably oozing contagious illnesses, tend to warm the heart and lift the spirit. Isn't it funny how some young children can be very sick, sick enough to warrant a trip to the Emergency Department, and yet still smile, laugh, and want to play with a large assortment of toys? At the hospital I work at, each individual room in the Emergency Department is closed in with a sliding glass door. One of my favorite ways to introduce myself to a perhaps somewhat shy little patient is to kneel down in the front of the door, knock on it, peek out from behind the curtain, or sometimes pretend to ring a doorbell. I try to ignore the strange looks from doctors passing by as I try out a variety of doorbell ringing sounds. For most of our littlest patients, this is quite hysterical, almost as funny as me taking my hospital phone out of my pocket and pretending to call them. I have recently been given the opportunity to create a mentoring experience for a first-year pediatric resident to give her several weeks in the life of a Child Life Specialist! She will be armed with bubbles, teaching dolls, books, and stickers, rather than stethoscopes, tongue depressors, and syringes. I am hoping that our smallest of teachers can give her a better understanding of what being a child in the hospital is really about. Please continue to keep me in your thoughts and prayers as I navigate a physically difficult return to work and continue to make decisions for my future that will benefit me both personally and professionally.
I read something this week that really struck a chord with me. Being "healthy" has nothing at all to do with being "well." I think each of us has our own picture of what "healthy" entails, whether that is a certain type of diet, body type, or absence of a chronic illness such as diabetes, asthma, or migraine headaches. If we each were to imagine that we had everything checked off on a list that allowed us to be completely healthy, would we still consider ourselves well? Are we willing to sacrifice any of our own internal wellness to achieve complete physical health? For me, one of the interesting things about facing chronic health concerns, is that I can feel myself begin to shift towards an ideal of a different type of health. Perhaps I can't "fix" what is wrong with my body now, or achieve an ideal sense of physical wellness, but I can work to create a more total sense of wellness, strengthening my relationship with God, being mindful of the substances that I choose to put into my body, increasing physical exercise, fostering interpersonal relationships with friends and families, and choosing emotional health by surrounding myself with positive words, thoughts, and actions. While I feel that my late-20's body has failed me in a sense, perhaps I can fall back on other aspects of wellness, and maybe someday they will over-compensate my physical limitations. I have so much more compassion than I ever did for people at any age who struggle with health concerns, especially when there is no direct prescription or cure for returning your body to the state it used to be in. Wow, doesn't that sound philosophical? For those of you blessed with excellent physical health, I hope you find wellness in other aspects of your life as well, and always follow the example of the young Emergency Department patient who chooses to sing, play, and giggle!
To my blog followers, wishing for you all this week a chance to engage with a young child, to be very very silly, to giggle and laugh, to play a game, and to sing songs. I can guarantee you it will be a far better stress-reliever than pizza, beer, or chocolate! Don't forget to turn your clocks forward this weekend. And finally, a special birthday shout-out to my favorite aunt! Until next time, speak kindly, sing loudly, and blessings to all you love in this world.
I read something this week that really struck a chord with me. Being "healthy" has nothing at all to do with being "well." I think each of us has our own picture of what "healthy" entails, whether that is a certain type of diet, body type, or absence of a chronic illness such as diabetes, asthma, or migraine headaches. If we each were to imagine that we had everything checked off on a list that allowed us to be completely healthy, would we still consider ourselves well? Are we willing to sacrifice any of our own internal wellness to achieve complete physical health? For me, one of the interesting things about facing chronic health concerns, is that I can feel myself begin to shift towards an ideal of a different type of health. Perhaps I can't "fix" what is wrong with my body now, or achieve an ideal sense of physical wellness, but I can work to create a more total sense of wellness, strengthening my relationship with God, being mindful of the substances that I choose to put into my body, increasing physical exercise, fostering interpersonal relationships with friends and families, and choosing emotional health by surrounding myself with positive words, thoughts, and actions. While I feel that my late-20's body has failed me in a sense, perhaps I can fall back on other aspects of wellness, and maybe someday they will over-compensate my physical limitations. I have so much more compassion than I ever did for people at any age who struggle with health concerns, especially when there is no direct prescription or cure for returning your body to the state it used to be in. Wow, doesn't that sound philosophical? For those of you blessed with excellent physical health, I hope you find wellness in other aspects of your life as well, and always follow the example of the young Emergency Department patient who chooses to sing, play, and giggle!
To my blog followers, wishing for you all this week a chance to engage with a young child, to be very very silly, to giggle and laugh, to play a game, and to sing songs. I can guarantee you it will be a far better stress-reliever than pizza, beer, or chocolate! Don't forget to turn your clocks forward this weekend. And finally, a special birthday shout-out to my favorite aunt! Until next time, speak kindly, sing loudly, and blessings to all you love in this world.
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
Remember Man That You Are Dust
It's so hard to believe that this past week was the start of Lent! I feel like it was just yesterday that we were celebrating Thanksgiving and Christmas. It seems strange to me what a whirlwind my life has been in the past few months. While it is certainly not what I would choose right now, I continue to strive to make the best of each day and to plan for the future. I ask for your thoughts and prayers in the coming weeks as I attempt to transition back to working part-time and make some very important decisions about what the rest of 2012 holds for me both personally and professionally. I've been lucky to find some really great inspirational books that have offered some guidance during this difficult time. I have always been an avid reader and able to very easily relate to things I read in a book. When I was in high-school, I told my Mom that I could learn to drive much easier if I was given an instruction manual and an empty parking lot! Who needs a parent in the front seat? I taught myself how to play the piano and french-braid hair from a book, so why couldn't all my major life lessons be learned from a book? I suppose I can say that I have worked much harder in the past several years to develop my so-called "street smarts," especially after moving hundreds of miles away from my family to a large city! I still continue to find great insight from things I read, especially one particular devotional book that encourages you not to worry about the strength to endure the coming days, weeks, months or years. God will give you the strength and grace sufficient for one day to overcome challenges and to be grateful for the blessings you receive. Each day is a clean slate, a new opportunity to endure, and again, provided with sustaining grace and the relief that you can let go of the insecurities and fears that may stem from thinking past today. Something to consider!
Lent and the Easter season are probably one of my most favorite times of the year, not only spiritually, but personally as well. Maybe it is due to the fact that it coincides with warmer weather, longer days, increased sunshine, and planning for the summer. I used to always try and give up something for Lent as was taught to me very early on in my Catholic education. I have run the gamut of sacrifices including chocolate, candy, gum, soda, soap operas, Facebook, you name it. In the past several years, I have taken a different approach, and tried to do something extra every day as well as attempt to change my perception or way of thinking, especially related to the way I interact with friends, co-workers, and family members. I like having a specific goal to focus on for each day, one that I feel will ultimately bring me closer to God, but also in the end will hopefully help to make me a kinder and gentler person. I hope that this season of Lent, or Spring for my non-religious friends, helps to bring you a renewed sense of purpose, direction, and peace. And for those of my friends who are giving up chocolate and Facebook, I hope Easter rewards you with a giant edible bunny and 150 Facebook notifications!
Another sign of the Spring has been the return of a certain family of geese to my apartment complex. I have no idea where they travel from, as to my knowledge there is not a body of water anywhere in the vicinity of my suburban neighborhood! The geese usually show up in late January, and tend to congregate in several of the grassy areas, sometimes meandering their way towards the playground. Their presence is usually strongly felt by the trail of geese "droppings" they so graciously leave along the walking paths. Last Spring, we welcomed about six little goslings to the complex, sweet little furry things who obediently formed a line and marched their way up the hill to a quieter area. It reminds me of small children in daycare who go on field trips all holding on to one rope! As much as I am fascinated by the geese family, I do not enjoy getting physically close to them. For some reason, I have always been a little unnerved by large geese. I have a vague memory of being chased by one as a child, but that might not be accurate. As I discovered, they appear much more angry looking up close and personal! For now, I'll settle for watching them from the safety of my own car.
To my blog followers, I hope that you experience your own sighting of signs of Spring this week, and take advantage of slightly warmer and longer days. Thank you for continuing to follow me on this journey. I struggle many days with feeling very isolated from those around me, and on my worst days, quite certain that no one will ever understand the frustration I am feeling or what it is like to be me. On my better days, I continue to be very blessed and humbled by those friends and family members who have provided me with unconditional support and encouragement. I am so thankful for the opportunities I have been given, to be in a position to receive excellent medical care, and to have a select few people who have become my surrogate "family" on days when it seems impossible to continue to be so far away from my own. Be kind, speak gently, and blessings to all you love in this world!
Lent and the Easter season are probably one of my most favorite times of the year, not only spiritually, but personally as well. Maybe it is due to the fact that it coincides with warmer weather, longer days, increased sunshine, and planning for the summer. I used to always try and give up something for Lent as was taught to me very early on in my Catholic education. I have run the gamut of sacrifices including chocolate, candy, gum, soda, soap operas, Facebook, you name it. In the past several years, I have taken a different approach, and tried to do something extra every day as well as attempt to change my perception or way of thinking, especially related to the way I interact with friends, co-workers, and family members. I like having a specific goal to focus on for each day, one that I feel will ultimately bring me closer to God, but also in the end will hopefully help to make me a kinder and gentler person. I hope that this season of Lent, or Spring for my non-religious friends, helps to bring you a renewed sense of purpose, direction, and peace. And for those of my friends who are giving up chocolate and Facebook, I hope Easter rewards you with a giant edible bunny and 150 Facebook notifications!
Another sign of the Spring has been the return of a certain family of geese to my apartment complex. I have no idea where they travel from, as to my knowledge there is not a body of water anywhere in the vicinity of my suburban neighborhood! The geese usually show up in late January, and tend to congregate in several of the grassy areas, sometimes meandering their way towards the playground. Their presence is usually strongly felt by the trail of geese "droppings" they so graciously leave along the walking paths. Last Spring, we welcomed about six little goslings to the complex, sweet little furry things who obediently formed a line and marched their way up the hill to a quieter area. It reminds me of small children in daycare who go on field trips all holding on to one rope! As much as I am fascinated by the geese family, I do not enjoy getting physically close to them. For some reason, I have always been a little unnerved by large geese. I have a vague memory of being chased by one as a child, but that might not be accurate. As I discovered, they appear much more angry looking up close and personal! For now, I'll settle for watching them from the safety of my own car.
To my blog followers, I hope that you experience your own sighting of signs of Spring this week, and take advantage of slightly warmer and longer days. Thank you for continuing to follow me on this journey. I struggle many days with feeling very isolated from those around me, and on my worst days, quite certain that no one will ever understand the frustration I am feeling or what it is like to be me. On my better days, I continue to be very blessed and humbled by those friends and family members who have provided me with unconditional support and encouragement. I am so thankful for the opportunities I have been given, to be in a position to receive excellent medical care, and to have a select few people who have become my surrogate "family" on days when it seems impossible to continue to be so far away from my own. Be kind, speak gently, and blessings to all you love in this world!
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
To the Moon and Back
This week began with another goodbye, as our family mourns the loss of my sweet great Uncle John, one of the most intelligent, kind, and humble souls to grace this Earth I'm quite sure. Uncle John spent his life devoted to teaching, primarily English, and could always be counted on for a very serious discussion delving into the required college reading list, the structure of my college contemporary literature class, and what books I was reading for pleasure. He was quick to suggest new authors and titles, and celebrated my graduation from college with memorable words of encouragement and a book from an obscure French author. Despite the fact that we didn't get to see him very often, separated by many states, I remember how proud he was of me and my brother for all of our accomplishments, even when we weren't sure ourselves how valuable our college degree was, or the purpose in taking college classes unrelated to our major. Uncle John, how I will miss your sweet smile and warm conversations at our family gatherings. I'll think of you in the bookstore when I glance at titles from unfamiliar authors and when I'm enjoying a quiet afternoon with a favorite novel. We love you to the moon and back!So, in honor of gentle Uncle John, I thought I would share some of my favorite book titles, and what is gracing my bookshelves right now.
What I'm Currently Reading: Good Grief (Lolly Winston), a fantastic fiction novel about a young woman's journey through a year following her husband's unexpected death from cancer. It is a great mix of dark humor and certainly doesn't sugarcoat the grief process.
What's Up Next: The Catholic Girl's Survival Guide for the Single Years: The Nuts and Bolts of Staying Sane and Happy While Waiting for Mr. Right (Emily Stimpson) I came across this book while looking for a devotional read on Amazon. From what I can tell, this will be a light but ultimately truthful read, with realistic suggestions on how to incorporate and maintain your faith in areas such as dating, friendships, finances, family relationships, and work. Love the title!
Favorite Children's Book: Love You Forever (Robert Munsch) This is by far the sweetest book and would be a great gift for a new Mom, especially welcoming a baby boy. I am not ashamed to admit that I get teary almost every time I read it. Seriously, it's precious!
Inspirational: Heaven is for Real (Todd Burpo) Regardless of your position or view on out-of-body experiences, it is difficult not to be drawn into this story of a young boy's experience of heaven during a life-threatening illness and his family's response. A #1 New York Times Bestseller, I read it cover to cover.
Got Me Thinking: Why Forgive? (Johann Christopher Arnold) An extremely powerful book filled with stories of individuals who in every right, should never be able to forgive those who wronged them, but who choose to do so, even under terrible circumstances. It will make you think twice about your interactions with your friends, family members, and co-workers, and about choosing forgiveness, even when it seems difficult or impossible.
Professional Resource: The Other End of the Stethoscope: 33 Insights for Excellent Patient Care (Marcus Engel) I first heard Marcus Engel's story at my alma mater university several years ago. Marcus experienced life-threatening injuries, including blindness, following an accident involving a drunk driver. This book is an absolute must-read for anyone who works in the healthcare setting and is a very raw, no-holds-barred look at the patient's perspective.
Best Textbook I Didn't Sell Back: Meeting Children's Psychosocial Needs Across the Health-Care Continuum (Rollings, Bolig, & Mahan). I am so glad that I kept this book as it is literally the "Child Life bible" and is by far one of the best resources I have for my job. It provides very concrete and detailed information about supporting patients and families ranging from premature infants in the NICU to patients nearing end-of-life. A must-read for anyone who works with children in the hospital setting.
Please share with me some of your own favorite titles, as I am always looking for a unique read. I have been doing quite a bit of reading at home these days, and am thankful to have several friends who seem to accumulate a library sized collection of used books that they are happy to pass my way.
To my blog followers this week, I wish for you the opportunity to be inspired and moved by something you read, and to take comfort in the words of others. Please take the opportunity to examine your priorities in life and to be reminded of the importance of the relationships with those you love. If you know someone experiencing a loss or a difficult crisis, please know that it is not the number of casseroles, elaborateness of a sympathy card, or the "right" words that matter. Simply knowing that someone took time out of their day to call, text, or send an e-mail can be a huge source of comfort and a reminder that even though you may not know what to say or how to say it, you assure that person that they are not alone or forgotten. If all else fails, send chocolate! Until next time, blessings to all you love in this world, and to the moon and back.
What I'm Currently Reading: Good Grief (Lolly Winston), a fantastic fiction novel about a young woman's journey through a year following her husband's unexpected death from cancer. It is a great mix of dark humor and certainly doesn't sugarcoat the grief process.
What's Up Next: The Catholic Girl's Survival Guide for the Single Years: The Nuts and Bolts of Staying Sane and Happy While Waiting for Mr. Right (Emily Stimpson) I came across this book while looking for a devotional read on Amazon. From what I can tell, this will be a light but ultimately truthful read, with realistic suggestions on how to incorporate and maintain your faith in areas such as dating, friendships, finances, family relationships, and work. Love the title!
Favorite Children's Book: Love You Forever (Robert Munsch) This is by far the sweetest book and would be a great gift for a new Mom, especially welcoming a baby boy. I am not ashamed to admit that I get teary almost every time I read it. Seriously, it's precious!
Inspirational: Heaven is for Real (Todd Burpo) Regardless of your position or view on out-of-body experiences, it is difficult not to be drawn into this story of a young boy's experience of heaven during a life-threatening illness and his family's response. A #1 New York Times Bestseller, I read it cover to cover.
Got Me Thinking: Why Forgive? (Johann Christopher Arnold) An extremely powerful book filled with stories of individuals who in every right, should never be able to forgive those who wronged them, but who choose to do so, even under terrible circumstances. It will make you think twice about your interactions with your friends, family members, and co-workers, and about choosing forgiveness, even when it seems difficult or impossible.
Professional Resource: The Other End of the Stethoscope: 33 Insights for Excellent Patient Care (Marcus Engel) I first heard Marcus Engel's story at my alma mater university several years ago. Marcus experienced life-threatening injuries, including blindness, following an accident involving a drunk driver. This book is an absolute must-read for anyone who works in the healthcare setting and is a very raw, no-holds-barred look at the patient's perspective.
Best Textbook I Didn't Sell Back: Meeting Children's Psychosocial Needs Across the Health-Care Continuum (Rollings, Bolig, & Mahan). I am so glad that I kept this book as it is literally the "Child Life bible" and is by far one of the best resources I have for my job. It provides very concrete and detailed information about supporting patients and families ranging from premature infants in the NICU to patients nearing end-of-life. A must-read for anyone who works with children in the hospital setting.
Please share with me some of your own favorite titles, as I am always looking for a unique read. I have been doing quite a bit of reading at home these days, and am thankful to have several friends who seem to accumulate a library sized collection of used books that they are happy to pass my way.
To my blog followers this week, I wish for you the opportunity to be inspired and moved by something you read, and to take comfort in the words of others. Please take the opportunity to examine your priorities in life and to be reminded of the importance of the relationships with those you love. If you know someone experiencing a loss or a difficult crisis, please know that it is not the number of casseroles, elaborateness of a sympathy card, or the "right" words that matter. Simply knowing that someone took time out of their day to call, text, or send an e-mail can be a huge source of comfort and a reminder that even though you may not know what to say or how to say it, you assure that person that they are not alone or forgotten. If all else fails, send chocolate! Until next time, blessings to all you love in this world, and to the moon and back.
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
The Greatest Love of All
Happy Valentine's Day to my faithful blog followers! I hope this day finds you celebrating with your significant other or at least surrounding yourselves with those you love and perhaps large quantities of dark chocolate. In one particularly telling episode of Sex and the City, we learn that each woman can expect to have three great loves in their lifetime. Three! I think I'll settle for just one if that's alright. Three great loves must mean two incredible heartbreaks, a part of the story that I'd rather skip. I think on Valentine's Day, I'll pretend that my fairy-tale ending is right around the corner, that Prince Charming has just been waiting for the exact moment to make himself known! And until then, I'll settle for a romantic comedy and an extra-large box of chocolates.
Despite the magic of today for many, the past week has been filled with loss both close to home and much farther away. First, Whitney Houston, the singer whose music brings my senses immediately back to a dance studio, slightly out-of-style leg warmers, and the period of approximately one year where I insisted that white ballet shoes instead of the traditional pink were necessary to maintain my social status and to avoid ruining my life forever. Most of my former roommates can attest to the fact that Whitney Houston was the soundtrack to research papers, midterms, and many unofficial study breaks. I am also a not so acclaimed car and shower singer, which Whitney Houston lent herself too quite well. So, for today, her iconic voice remains on my playlist, the Bodyguard as one of the best classically romantic films, and her music forever tied to memories. From a different part of the world, the town of Clemson lost not only their mayor and leader, but an influential and inspirational man, Larry Abernathy. I have more memories of Larry as a child, as he was a co-worker and close friend to my Mom. A trip to my Mom's office always meant a great big bear hug from Larry and often included a piece of candy or some type of treat for my brother and I. Many years later, as a Clemson student, if I happened to run into Larry on campus, I could still expect the same bear hug, and a reminder of how much I looked like my Mom. Clemson will never be able to replace him but will forever be changed by his work and passion for the community.
And finally, the loss of my dear "Unck," a great-great-uncle by name, but so much more in spirit. In the past year, I developed a friendship with Unck after moving to an area that was much closer to him. It transcended the letters and phone calls that had primarily comprised our relationship up to that point. He was homebound in the last few years of his life, relying on oxygen, but relishing in the opportunities to "putter" around as he jokingly put it, fixing vacuum cleaner parts on the kitchen table, sending cards, reading the paper cover to cover each day, and enjoying daily visits from neighbors and a hand-delivered lunch from the elementary school cafeteria across the street. He admitted that the pizza left much to be desired and needed to be cooked longer, but the fruit and jello received rave reviews! A decorated war hero, earning both a Purple Heart and Silver star, Unck preferred to decorate his mantel with pictures of all of his relatives, perhaps thinking of them as his "children" as he never married or had children of his own, although is likely rejoicing today in reuniting with his dear lady-friend Jane. When he knew you would be visiting, your photo would be moved to the center of the mantel or another equally visible place. Our visits were special and he had me into a full-blown belly laugh before I even sat down, giving me the "low-down" on the family news, telling me a story about my grandmother from the good-old days, and always worrying about my drive to work and what I ate in the middle of my shift. And by the way, he'd ask, do you think you could find that lemon poundcake that you brought last time? How about some sugar-free jello? My sweet Unck, how I will miss your phone calls and our visits, always calling me "the little girl," as I was fairly certain sometimes it was hard for you to remember my name, and always reminding me how special my grandmother was just in case I had forgotten. Each visit ended with a kiss to the top of your head and you telling me to watch out for traffic "going over that damn bridge!" You were so loved by everyone who knew you, an example of what living life to the fullest really means. While I wish I had more time with you, I'm so grateful we built our own special friendship. Until we meet again, I love you to the moon and back!
To my blog followers, yet many more reminders this week of how important it is to cherish time spent with family and friends, however short that time may be. Every single night before bed, Unck picked up the phone to call his brother. Every single night, even in times of illness and tragedy. I hope that you will seek out regular connections to those you love, even if they are far away. Grief is a funny thing, often challenging and taunting you to think of the things you didn't do or say, rather than giving yourself permission to remember and smile. For those of you who have lost loved ones, I hope you give yourself permission to smile, and allow yourself to be flooded with warm memories. So, to quote Whitney, "And when melodies are gone, I look to you." Blessings to all you love in this world!
Despite the magic of today for many, the past week has been filled with loss both close to home and much farther away. First, Whitney Houston, the singer whose music brings my senses immediately back to a dance studio, slightly out-of-style leg warmers, and the period of approximately one year where I insisted that white ballet shoes instead of the traditional pink were necessary to maintain my social status and to avoid ruining my life forever. Most of my former roommates can attest to the fact that Whitney Houston was the soundtrack to research papers, midterms, and many unofficial study breaks. I am also a not so acclaimed car and shower singer, which Whitney Houston lent herself too quite well. So, for today, her iconic voice remains on my playlist, the Bodyguard as one of the best classically romantic films, and her music forever tied to memories. From a different part of the world, the town of Clemson lost not only their mayor and leader, but an influential and inspirational man, Larry Abernathy. I have more memories of Larry as a child, as he was a co-worker and close friend to my Mom. A trip to my Mom's office always meant a great big bear hug from Larry and often included a piece of candy or some type of treat for my brother and I. Many years later, as a Clemson student, if I happened to run into Larry on campus, I could still expect the same bear hug, and a reminder of how much I looked like my Mom. Clemson will never be able to replace him but will forever be changed by his work and passion for the community.
And finally, the loss of my dear "Unck," a great-great-uncle by name, but so much more in spirit. In the past year, I developed a friendship with Unck after moving to an area that was much closer to him. It transcended the letters and phone calls that had primarily comprised our relationship up to that point. He was homebound in the last few years of his life, relying on oxygen, but relishing in the opportunities to "putter" around as he jokingly put it, fixing vacuum cleaner parts on the kitchen table, sending cards, reading the paper cover to cover each day, and enjoying daily visits from neighbors and a hand-delivered lunch from the elementary school cafeteria across the street. He admitted that the pizza left much to be desired and needed to be cooked longer, but the fruit and jello received rave reviews! A decorated war hero, earning both a Purple Heart and Silver star, Unck preferred to decorate his mantel with pictures of all of his relatives, perhaps thinking of them as his "children" as he never married or had children of his own, although is likely rejoicing today in reuniting with his dear lady-friend Jane. When he knew you would be visiting, your photo would be moved to the center of the mantel or another equally visible place. Our visits were special and he had me into a full-blown belly laugh before I even sat down, giving me the "low-down" on the family news, telling me a story about my grandmother from the good-old days, and always worrying about my drive to work and what I ate in the middle of my shift. And by the way, he'd ask, do you think you could find that lemon poundcake that you brought last time? How about some sugar-free jello? My sweet Unck, how I will miss your phone calls and our visits, always calling me "the little girl," as I was fairly certain sometimes it was hard for you to remember my name, and always reminding me how special my grandmother was just in case I had forgotten. Each visit ended with a kiss to the top of your head and you telling me to watch out for traffic "going over that damn bridge!" You were so loved by everyone who knew you, an example of what living life to the fullest really means. While I wish I had more time with you, I'm so grateful we built our own special friendship. Until we meet again, I love you to the moon and back!
To my blog followers, yet many more reminders this week of how important it is to cherish time spent with family and friends, however short that time may be. Every single night before bed, Unck picked up the phone to call his brother. Every single night, even in times of illness and tragedy. I hope that you will seek out regular connections to those you love, even if they are far away. Grief is a funny thing, often challenging and taunting you to think of the things you didn't do or say, rather than giving yourself permission to remember and smile. For those of you who have lost loved ones, I hope you give yourself permission to smile, and allow yourself to be flooded with warm memories. So, to quote Whitney, "And when melodies are gone, I look to you." Blessings to all you love in this world!
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
The Magic of Ordinary Days
In my never-ending quest for evening entertainment, I stumbled across a made for TV movie on the Hallmark Channel called The Magic of Ordinary Days. I seem to be drawn to these sappy, low-budget, and sometimes painfully cheesy movies. I am also a well known fanatic of Lifetime. I am fairly certain that one thing I will require in a spouse is their ability to tolerate Lifetime television. This particular movie starred Keri Russell, who I love! Anyone else remember the days of Felicity? I was sure that I was going to be just like Felicity when I went to college, minus chronicling my daily events on a tape recorder. For a brief period, I desperately envied her curly hair and the wardrobe that I assumed must be necessary to meet cute college boys. Even Keri Russell can't disappoint in a cheesy movie dressed as a woman living on the prairie in the 1940's. I was struck more by the movie's title, the magic of ordinary days. I can say that I have struggled this past week to find magic in days that while ordinary, have been trying.
I received some discouraging news related to my health this week that will impact my future and may force me to make some very difficult decisions related to my current career. Thankfully, my medical condition is not life threatening and I am able to continue doing the things that I feel well enough to do. For that, I am eternally grateful as I know so many who can't say the same. However, I must tell you that I am saddened by the fact that my life will be altered to some extent, and may play out in a way that I had not expected. But isn't that the way life goes? Shouldn't I just pick myself up by my bootstraps, put a smile on my face, and count the many blessings that still do exist? Don't I teach patients and families to focus on the positive and overcome the negative? Why should I be allowed to have a pity party for myself? I can't decide if it's a blessing or a curse to be a healthcare professional facing chronic illness. I know all of the medical lingo, I'm familiar with most of the medications prescribed, and I especially understand the meaning behind a doctor's sympathetic smile followed by a cheerful, "Let's just see how you do!" On the other hand, I know the ramifications of a chronic health condition and the toll it can take on a patient, their family, friends, and co-workers. I watch those emotions play out every time I walk through the doors of a hospital. I thought I was supposed to be the teacher, the leader, the example of hope and positive coping?
I suppose this week, I'm in a sense saddened by the loss of what could have been, a very different conversation with an exact remedy, a bandage or a prescription. I'm saddened by the possibility that I won't be able to continue doing what it is I believe that I was put on this earth to do. I'm saddened that my reality and perception of what my future holds may have to be altered. I'm saddened that my future holds many more conversations with doctors. Despite the sadness which I'm sure will fade with time, I will choose to find magic in ordinary days. However difficult it may be, and however many times I need to remind myself, I will choose to believe that the plan for my life is far greater than what I have imagined for myself. I will continue to choose to do the things I love to do, even if they have to be modified. I will also choose to never allow myself or my life to be defined by test results, labwork, and prescriptions. I will choose to find meaning in wherever my life takes me. I will also choose to take life one day at a time, and to maintain hope that I can find joy in a path different than one I had imagined. And when I return to work, in whatever capacity, I will choose to have a deeper understanding and connection to my patients.
One of the highlights of my week was being able to book a flight home for Easter! I can hardly wait to be at home surrounded by my family members and bask in the SC weather, which I'm sure by then will feel like July. I also love Easter baskets, which still remains an upheld tradition in our household. There's not much better than a bakset full of sugar first thing in the morning. Even better, I had finally earned enough miles through my airline reward travel program to warrant a FREE round-trip flight! For those of you who know me well, saving money and coupons make my heart sing. I won't coupon to the extreme, no binders basements full of stockpiles of dish soap, but I am a bargain hunter. Getting an absolutely free round-trip ticket is the bargain hunter's jackpot. I'm also pretty sure that this bumps me from being in the very last boarding zone at the airport. So, thank you airline company, for allowing me to save the money I would have spent on a trip home and use it for a mini-vacation. I think the final verdict will be St. Louis sometime this summer. I have some family and friends in the area and it seems like there is a lot to do. I think an escape is just what I need!
To my blog followers: For this week, I challenge you to find the magic in an ordinary day. I hope that even on an ordinary day, you are fulfilled with what you do and the people you share your life with. If you are a religious or spiritual person, I hope that you find moments in the day to pray or reflect. If not, I hope you find peace in doing ordinary things. I also hope that you never take for granted your ability to do those ordinary things, even when they become tedious, challenging, and frustrating. Enjoy the unseasonably beautiful Spring weather and extra daylight that has lifted my spirit this week! Borrowed from someone who turned the ordinary into extraordinary, "Blessings to all you love in this world."
I received some discouraging news related to my health this week that will impact my future and may force me to make some very difficult decisions related to my current career. Thankfully, my medical condition is not life threatening and I am able to continue doing the things that I feel well enough to do. For that, I am eternally grateful as I know so many who can't say the same. However, I must tell you that I am saddened by the fact that my life will be altered to some extent, and may play out in a way that I had not expected. But isn't that the way life goes? Shouldn't I just pick myself up by my bootstraps, put a smile on my face, and count the many blessings that still do exist? Don't I teach patients and families to focus on the positive and overcome the negative? Why should I be allowed to have a pity party for myself? I can't decide if it's a blessing or a curse to be a healthcare professional facing chronic illness. I know all of the medical lingo, I'm familiar with most of the medications prescribed, and I especially understand the meaning behind a doctor's sympathetic smile followed by a cheerful, "Let's just see how you do!" On the other hand, I know the ramifications of a chronic health condition and the toll it can take on a patient, their family, friends, and co-workers. I watch those emotions play out every time I walk through the doors of a hospital. I thought I was supposed to be the teacher, the leader, the example of hope and positive coping?
I suppose this week, I'm in a sense saddened by the loss of what could have been, a very different conversation with an exact remedy, a bandage or a prescription. I'm saddened by the possibility that I won't be able to continue doing what it is I believe that I was put on this earth to do. I'm saddened that my reality and perception of what my future holds may have to be altered. I'm saddened that my future holds many more conversations with doctors. Despite the sadness which I'm sure will fade with time, I will choose to find magic in ordinary days. However difficult it may be, and however many times I need to remind myself, I will choose to believe that the plan for my life is far greater than what I have imagined for myself. I will continue to choose to do the things I love to do, even if they have to be modified. I will also choose to never allow myself or my life to be defined by test results, labwork, and prescriptions. I will choose to find meaning in wherever my life takes me. I will also choose to take life one day at a time, and to maintain hope that I can find joy in a path different than one I had imagined. And when I return to work, in whatever capacity, I will choose to have a deeper understanding and connection to my patients.
One of the highlights of my week was being able to book a flight home for Easter! I can hardly wait to be at home surrounded by my family members and bask in the SC weather, which I'm sure by then will feel like July. I also love Easter baskets, which still remains an upheld tradition in our household. There's not much better than a bakset full of sugar first thing in the morning. Even better, I had finally earned enough miles through my airline reward travel program to warrant a FREE round-trip flight! For those of you who know me well, saving money and coupons make my heart sing. I won't coupon to the extreme, no binders basements full of stockpiles of dish soap, but I am a bargain hunter. Getting an absolutely free round-trip ticket is the bargain hunter's jackpot. I'm also pretty sure that this bumps me from being in the very last boarding zone at the airport. So, thank you airline company, for allowing me to save the money I would have spent on a trip home and use it for a mini-vacation. I think the final verdict will be St. Louis sometime this summer. I have some family and friends in the area and it seems like there is a lot to do. I think an escape is just what I need!
To my blog followers: For this week, I challenge you to find the magic in an ordinary day. I hope that even on an ordinary day, you are fulfilled with what you do and the people you share your life with. If you are a religious or spiritual person, I hope that you find moments in the day to pray or reflect. If not, I hope you find peace in doing ordinary things. I also hope that you never take for granted your ability to do those ordinary things, even when they become tedious, challenging, and frustrating. Enjoy the unseasonably beautiful Spring weather and extra daylight that has lifted my spirit this week! Borrowed from someone who turned the ordinary into extraordinary, "Blessings to all you love in this world."
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)