Despite my current and regrettably prolonged single status, I do have one special guy in my life who brings me incredible joy. Tall, dark, handsome, and Prince Charming? Not quite. However, my six-year-old cousin Nicholas has just learned to read his first "big kid" book, is proud of himself for learning to recite the 23rd psalm at school, loves to help his Nanny by taking out the garbage, checking the mail, and picking up sticks in the yard, and for the past two weeks has been determined to catch a bumble bee to keep in his bug jar. While I'm not sure how that bee-catching experiment will quite work out, my little buddy, who has called me "Shell" since the day he could talk, tugs on my heart-strings more times than I can count and is a skinned-knee, brown-haired reminder of how resilient children are, how well they can adapt to change, and if we let them, can provide us with some of life's greatest lessons. I can honestly say that I love that little guy more than I ever thought possible, and I definitely think he's helping me to fine-tune those "Mommy" instincts for some of my own little ones down the road (and I do mean WAY down the road).
Nicholas absolutely loves to go to school. He is quite convinced that Kindergarten was made especially for him as was recess. However, due to an ADHD diagnosis and not quite having yet grasped the concept of an "inside voice," school poses it's own unique challenges. He has a wonderful teacher who is helping him and all the other little boys in his classroom navigate the rules and etiquette of Kindergarten. This past week, this particular teacher, who I'm quite sure must have a halo and the patience of a saint, became particularly exasperated when Nicholas continued to interrupt each lesson of the day to provide his own unique commentary on the subject. After several reminders to raise his hand with questions, and even a stern warning or two, at her wit's end, she asked Nicholas if HE would like to teach the class since he seemed so interested in being a part of the lecturing process. Little did she know, this idea thrilled him and would be perhaps his greatest achievement to date! So, this kind teacher obliged, telling Nicholas that every morning, he would be given three minutes to conduct the class. In three minutes, he could speak to the class on whatever subject he chose, but had to do so standing tall and with fingers out of his mouth (and nose), and had to ensure that all the children seated in a circle on the rug were listening. So, the next morning, Nicholas marches up to the front of the room, folds his hands neatly in front of him and tells the class the story of getting a hair-cut the day before, sparing no detail, including the fact that this was only his second trip to a barbershop, as he was certainly too old to be getting his hair cut at an establishment that had a playroom and provided lollipops. He also recounts how the barber told him that just that morning, he had cut his grandfather's hair in that very same chair. Nicholas looks down on the floor to the curls of dark brown hair still to be swept from the previous customer and informs the barber that his grandfather must not have sat in this chair, because his hair is white, like cottonballs! Surprisingly, so I'm told, the class sat at attention, and Nicholas reminded them all to raise their hands if they wanted to ask questions. For an entire week, Nicholas was given three minutes in front of his class, and he was sure to remind his teacher if she forgot! Now, will this prevent him from interrupting every morning or getting up out of his seat without asking permission to do so? Probably not. I can tell you though, that I have never heard a six-year-old sound so proud of himself and I'm quite sure his self-esteem took a boost.
This week, I have been surrounded with a lot of negative talk, thankfully not directly relating to me, but affecting me nonetheless. It seems to be everywhere, from Facebook to the grocery store to my place of employment. I wonder, if we all had to get our point across in three minutes or less, could we do it without the added negativity? Can we boost our own self-esteem without the added cost of speaking poorly about someone else? Can we take pride in our own thoughts and actions without being so quick and rash to judge someone who chooses to take a different path? I will be the first one to say that I am guilty of joining in a conversation focused on judging the actions of someone else or speaking negatively about a situation. I can think of several instances in the past week when I have engaged in the behavior that is so disturbing to me when I see it in others. It's so much easier to pretend that we are not the ones who cause negativity when we see others engage in it. So, for now, I am choosing to be mindful of the conversations I engage in, and the quick judgments I pass on others. Working in the field that I do, I have been trained to not pass judgment on patients and families, but human nature encourages our thoughts to be judgmental even when our words are not. I would be hurt, offended, and dismayed to find that someone was judging or speaking negatively of my thoughts, words, and actions. I suppose that we cannot judge other's paths, even if we think we ourselves have walked that path.
To my blog followers, I wish for you this week to find opportunities in where you can boost the self-esteem of others, in three minutes or less! I hope that you can be mindful of the things you speak and the phrases you type, especially on Facebook where it is accessible and potentially hurtful to so many others. I wish for you opportunities to reframe your thought process about something once viewed as completely negative. Perhaps that is one thing that six months of chronic illness has taught me, no matter how bleak the circumstances are and no matter how long the list of negatives are, somewhere there IS a chance to reframe your perspective and experience personal growth, even if it takes a little digging. I can honestly say that my perspective on certain things in this life has taken a complete turn-around in the last six months due to my own circumstances and things I have witnessed in others. I do believe that we have a choice how we make each day, and for now, I'm going to try to follow the example of a child who, despite more obstacles than most his age, wakes up each morning excited for what the day has to offer and finds joy in things most of us would see as only mundane. Blessings to all you love in this world, and for those of you with healthy children in your life, give more hugs than you think you need to and fill your life with their joy!
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