I have never been one to think of myself as an angry person. I don't yell, scream, throw things, punch my fist through a wall, or curse. However, I probably had many meltdowns during my early hormonal teenage years that my mother could attest involved some of the above activities. I do remember being quite argumentative and practicing my excellent public speaking and debate skills on my friends and family members, and always wanting to be right. Ok, who doesn't love being right now and again? After having moved into a large city, I have come across many people doing everyday activities that get red-in-the-face, foot stomping, dropping the F-bomb mad! I would say that most of these individuals are probably driving the city streets or attempting to get around a stalled car in a traffic jam. I do, however, readily admit, that at times I can be easily irritated! There are certain things in life, that regardless of their mundane and irrational nature, grate on my nerves like chalk on a blackboard. For instance, why must one talk on their cellphone when walking very slowly through a crowded store, making it impossible for anyone to pass them? Irritating? Of course. Important in the grand scheme of the universe? Surely not. Here's another one. If you are a cashier at a drugstore, I generally find it quite irritating if you wipe your nose with your hand prior to reaching into the register to dispense my change. Nerve grating for someone who washes their hands like it's going out of style and a little bit gross? Sure. Worth me flying into a rage and demanding to speak to the manager? Probably not. Just when I thought that everyone in the world must have it on their personal agenda to annoy me, I had one of those moments at work this week. As Oprah would call it, I experienced a God-wink, or an "aha" experience that I just had to share.
I would say that this particular shift was a rather typical evening, refer to the last post for what that entails! I noticed on our electronic census that a patient had come into the Emergency Department who I was familiar with. This particular patient is well known to our hospital after having spent much of her life enduring surgical procedures and extended stay. I hadn't seen her in quite some time, and was anxious to see how she was doing. I brought her what I knew were two of her favorite items to help her through a hospital stay: Play-doh and a princess movie, turned up extra loud! One of the trade-offs for cutting edge treatment for a life-threatening illness for this patient is almost complete blindness. While she was delighted with the items I had brought her and an opportunity for us to play one of our favorite games in which she shapes something out of the Play-doh and I have to guess what it is (with my eyes closed of course), I noticed that the caregiver that was with her was, well, rip-roaring mad! I have to say with quite a bit of humility, that angry caregivers in the hospital are kind of my expertise. This is quite hilarious given that if someone close to me said anything mean or hurtful, I would probably cry like a school-girl. But, for whatever reason, when I'm in my work setting, I tend to be able to de-escalate situations and serve as the "mediator" if you will between parents and our medical staff. It's my job to flesh out the reasons behind the red-face and cursing, and try to help the angry caregivers and frustrated staff come to some kind of mutual understanding. And as tends to be the unspoken motto in the ER, when all else fails with a patient or the parent, call the Child Life Specialist!
Parents and caregivers who know the intricate workings of the hospital probably better than most staff do, are much more susceptible to increased frustration and anger when they are required to sit in an Emergency Department, and be questioned by an intern, two residents, and an attending physician about their child's lengthy medical history. On that particular night, this caregiver had valid reasons to be frustrated. The doctor who was overseeing the patient's care had valid reasons to be frustrated as well. After several conversations both inside the room and outside the room with myself, the caregiver, and two physicians, it didn't seem that we were meeting common ground. In fact, we weren't meeting common anything! With a heaping of dismay and frustration myself, I returned to the room once more with the caregiver to attempt to "make a deal" as a last resort. All of a sudden, in the midst of a particularly angry rant, I hear a familiar but out-of-place sound. A tiny little warrior in a printed hospital gown, waiting ever so patiently for my attention to her Play-Doh sculpture, had leaned forward so that she could hear the story that accompanied the princess movie I had provided for her, and had begun to giggle. A merciless, shoulder-shaking giggle on her tiny frame that sliced through the thick tension in the room. Her caregiver stopped in mid-sentence, our eyes met, and I'll be darned if a huge grin didn't cross their face! True story! In all of our attempts to find common ground, the caregiver, the physicians, and myself, had all ignored the common ground with her pink Play-doh sitting right there in that hospital bed. As I hugged her goodbye when I left that night, I squeezed her a little tighter, silently thanking her for giving us all the breather that we needed. Cheesy story? You bet, and I wouldn't change a single second of it!
So, to my blog followers, I hope that you all experience God-winks or "Aha" moments that make you question the importance of your anger or irritation with life. I think that there are times in life when anger is 100 percent justified and called for. However, I wish for you more times than not to be slow to anger and rich in kindness. I suppose I would rather be more defined by acts of kindness than by acts of anger. For me, I'll try not to let life's little irritations bother me so much, as I know I have greater things in life to focus on. Wishing you all chances to delight in gorgeous Spring weather this week, kind words to speak to others, kindness towards yourself, and blessings to all you love in this world!
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